Remembering Him

A year has been gone and this is the first time I really thought about him. When we are near to each other, we have never been close. Well, some call it the age gap, some call it not connected. Guess, that’s what best describe about us. We are never connected since young. We hardly talk and whenever we are connected, that will be the time when we are blaming each other for certain mistake.

I was browsing my Friendster just now and I have the feeling of going in to check out his updates. I saw what he has written as his quote which I really like the saying of it “Never LIE, STEAL, CHEAT, or DRINK. But if you must LIE, LIE in the arms of the one you love. If you must STEAL, STEAL away from bad company. If you must CHEAT, CHEAT death. And if you must DRINK, DRINK to the moments that take your breath away“ He has always been a surprise to me ever since we are far apart last year. He grew up mature and more rational. He thinks mostly of us (my family and I) more often. On the last day before he left to UK, he sent me a text saying “Sis, take good care and don’t worry about me. Don’t miss me and be happy for me here. Luv.” I have never expected this to come from him. He used to be someone with less emotion and never spend much time on the family get together gathering. I still remember that I tried to hold back my tears whenever I read his text that day. How sweet and caring he is. I am wrong that he is lack of emotion. In fact, he is caring and he has never shown it to us.

Why does it always has to be that we will only care and concern about someone when he/she is far away from us? Why we the human never learn to treasure? I am still learning to treasure and appreciate people around me more often as times will never come back to us.

Being Apart

Some people said, being apart from each other does not mean the end of the world and some even said that it is fine to be apart as long as you remember each other.
Well, I am not too sure about this. In another few more days, my best friend of 15 years is leaving to pursue his master in New Castle (of course I am praying the best from the bottom of my heart for him).
I still remember knowing him for the first time during school days. He looks childish and playful and doesn’t seem is the right person to share any serious matter. But it turned out that I was wrong. We were so close and never lost contact even after we moved on for our own degree. He is still the one that I always trusted and shares my ups and downs.
It is also always fun to have him around as we both celebrated our birthday together (we were brought to these world on the same date, month and year – but of course by different mother 🙂 ). Ever since he came back from Australia, so far we had two birthdays together, and next year I am gonna celebrate it alone again without him being around. One of our separate birthday that I still remember until now was when we both are in university (I was at Terengganu and he was at Australia). I thought he forgotten my birthday as I’ve sent him a birthday message via mobile but he never reply. I feel abit upset at that time. However, just before 12midnite, I’ve got a call while walking home from supper. It was from him, telling me he loves me and wishing me Happy Birthday! It was so sweet of him (even though he sounds drunk at that time 🙂 ).
I think between him and I there is really a connection of friendship even we do not show it often. We don’t meet very often but at least on and off we contacted each other to make sure we are doing fine.
Well, I do hope and pray the best for him and of course I will miss him a lot!

Kok Whye, Myself, Kenneth & Cikgu Chin (standing)

Who The H**L????

I just can’t believe that I’ve to face this person everyday (minus the weekend). She is most horrible creature I have ever met yet I got no choice to escape. I was really pissed off with this person (shall i address her as a human? ermm…I am not sure) today. Who the H**L she thinks she is by giving me instruction doing things for her??!!! How I wish I can tell her straight to her face : GO TO H**L and clean your own ugly A**!!! I just can’t stand her. One question that always appear in my mind is, why she left her brain in the freezer coz she can’t even think! I mean think with a brain (unfrozen brain) like every normal human. Gosshh..i am so mean, but I can’t help it. She is really SOB to me and to most of the people that know her.

Guess what?? I ambushed her when she was on the way home. I wrapped her with a guni sack, tied her and give her a good whack! BOOM! BANG! THUMP!! I have no mercy at all to her and I am enjoying myself whacking her. OMG! What am I doing? But I feel so much better whacking her as I had always wanted to do this. Now I have release all my anger to this person, and I am praying hard to god to forgive me(of what I am doing right now) while I was kicking her A** real hard! BOOM! BANG! THUMP!!BANG! BANG! Hahahaa…finally I got a chance to beat her like I had always wanted to…

Sighh….it is just a daydreaming fantasy that I was having when I look at her! I really hope that I will be given a chance to do this to her and I will have no regrets to my life. Oppsss..i hope she will remember to defrost her brain and put it back to her wacky head when she wakes up! Oh, god, I am praying hard to you to help her defrost her brain! Please give her a thinking brain instead of no brain, mercy on her!

Home Sweet Home

Sweet Dreams Alwiz

At last I have a place that I can spend every nite peacefully! 🙂

Home Sweet Home

Finally, after waiting for ages, I managed to get my own cozy place. Well, this is of course my own house. Yahuu!! Finally I managed to get away from this horrible so-called apartment (The Old & Disgusting Miharja Apt), well the house owner was terrible as well. He is really a SOB. Whenever I asked for the deposit to be returned, he told me there are plenty of things that he needs to recover back and will be deducted from the deposit!!! Arrgghhh…how I wish the house is haunted and he is not able to rent it out. Hahahah…if I got a chance to meet the new tenant, then I will tell him/her that the house is haunted and that is why I am moving out J

 

Definitely I will not say that the old apt at Miharja is ‘Home Sweet Home’ coz that place is far away to qualify as one. But now, my current place is great. Comfortable and clean and even the Rubbish Room in every floor doesn’t looks like a rubbish room as it is so clean and no terrible smell. In the house itself, I don’t even need to have the aircond switch on as the place is so windy. I guess it is because that is not congested. Compare to the previous Miharja place, I always feel stuffy and hot! Unbearable hot! Also at my new place now, I get to pamper myself in the pool (even though I am yet to do that but soon) Now, that’s what I call Home Sweet Home!

Day 2

Early this morning before the sun is waking everyone up, I got a call from Mum. We talked for almost an hour even though I am quite sleepy. Talking to her makes me miss her more. How I am going to live the 3 years life without my mum nearby? I might sound childish but I just got so used to having her around whenever I feel like calling her and seeing her. Ever since I’ve moved to KL, I will rang her whenever I feel like hearing her voice ( to make me feel better when I was down though I never tell her my problem) and I only need to purchase a bus ticket to go back and see her when I feel like doing so. Now, I feel awkward that I couldn’t call her anytime (the call charges are too expensive!) and I can’t see her whenever I want.

Today, I went and checked out the Matta Fair. I walked around those interesting booths and out of sudden I was thinking about my mum again. During the last year Matta Fair, I went with my parents and booked them a trip to Shanghai; only for the two of them. This year, I still managed to book a trip but is for me and my dad. Well, going to miss having mum around this year. How I wish I can book a trip for her and my dad again so that they can spend some times together going for holiday. When I decided to go back from the fair, it started to rain heavily. Seems like the weather is describing my feeling deep inside; rains=tears??

I finally reached home after went through the heavy rain and crowds(something is wrong with the people working behind the counter of the LRT Station). I just can’t believe it that they only put 2 person behind the counter working during the weekend!! I’ve queued for almost 20 minutes to get my ticket!! Gossh…they should have open more counter during the weekend. Feel so frustrated and mad. After I made myself comfortable at home, I feel bored. I used to call my mum and speak to her when I am bored and we chat anything we wanted. Now, how I wish I can do so!

Another day is gone and I am still trying hard to adapt myself to a life where my mum is thousands miles away from me.

Day 1

Today is the first day that I am separated from mum with a distance of 14 hours flight journey. Someone told me, 14 hours flight journey is not far. However, for me, it seems a million years away. Saying goodbye to someone that you know you will not be seeing for 3 years is really tough. Mum called me twice today from there. I miss her so much. I knew she is alrite over there, but somehow, when I heard her voice, I dare not speak so much. My voice is trembling and I knew the moment I talk more, my tears will start rolling down. The moment she said “Hello,” I feel deep inside me I wanted to cry so much. All these while, is only me leaving her and this time, it is going round to me. I have so much to tell her. I used to call her after work. We chatted, laughed, shared and talked everything we wanted like friends. When I can’t sleep, I used to call her and asked her what she is doing. She used to tell me; “Try your very best to sleep and don’t think too much.” I can call her anytime and anywhere I want. But not this time. She is too far away even though she is still near in my heart. I can’t call her. I have to wait for her to call me. I still feel that I would like to call her after work today. It rains heavily here today. I wish I could tell mum that I am wet and I wish to ask her, what she is doing there and I wish that I can chat with her without time limiting us. It is tough to be strong and it is tough to limit your mind to think only the positive part. How I wish tomorrow will be easier for me. It is really tough to live a different life suddenly. It is tough to pretend. To pretend strong.

Gloomy

My colour today is grey. No idea why, somehow feel gloomy and depress. Deep inside, I miss someone. Someone that is so important and has played her role for my life for the previous 20 over years. Another 48 hours, she will be far away from me, leaving a distance of 14 hours flight between her and me. All that she has sacrified is uncountable. Leaving without her is just another unbearable sadness. She is a special person that can cheer me up during my ups and downs, make me feel well when I was sick, comfort me when I was down and most importantly she has never failed to be there for me whenever I need her. Through good and bad, she is always there shinning for me, wishing me all the luck and stars that I need and shower me with all the love that I need. Hearing her voice makes me calm and feel secure. Looking at her smile makes me feel relief and full of love. Talking to her makes me feel important and being love. She is such a wonderful person that I can never leave without. I wish that she will be bless all the time and deep inside me she is still the one that I can always rely and love.

Reading or Writing

Reading and Writing are two different issues but yet they are always related. For me, reading is the best and of course is my cup of coffee. As for writing, I am still searching whether it is my cup of coffee or tea LOL. Currently, I am so into this book by this author; Ann Rule. Her true crime stories are so interesting and is something you will surely like after her first book. Of course, that’s if you are the type that like true stories. I was introduced to this author by a friend that accidentally found this book of hers. At this moment, I am reading Everything She Ever Wanted. It is about a woman that was is mentally ill and has got many plans to remove anyone from being an obstacle for her love towards her husband. Ths story sounds cruel and at the same time eerie. Well, I hope I can finish this book soon and hop on the another book by this author. Seems that my task for this weekend is only reading as I’ve done my Christmas shopping last weekend.

Travelling

The ‘travel worms’ is back! It is only early October and I’ve just came back not long ago from a local trip yet, it can’t ease my eagerness to travel again. What’s in my mind now is Bangkok. A place that I wanted to go so much. But, when? Trying hard to gather more information right.